So, Alex. My sweet, imaginative, introspective, shy, curious 9-year-old Alex is also the world's biggest mess maker. He spends hours alone in his room creating masterpieces out of every. single. Lego. And matchbox car. And puzzle piece. And magic trick prop. You get the idea.
Or maybe you need a visual.
I just happen to have a few. None are of his room, but I think they substantiate my claim very well.
Exhibit A: Hard to see, I know, but it was the middle of the night. I woke up to Alex in my room with all of his bedding, a giant pile of books, a flashlight, and other various stuffed animals and other nighttime necessities. You see how quickly this kind of thinking can get out of hand?
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| You'll have to look close to find Alex... |
Exhibit B: This is how Alex packs to spectate a 60-minute soccer game. The backpack is so heavy he can barely lift it. Note that a portable electric keyboard is essential, but shoes are not.
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| Shoes are an afterthought. |
Oh, and here's one from 7 years ago. When he was 2. Literally, every single toy.
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| I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I saw this. |
And here are two more, just because he's so stinkin' cute!
Unfortunately, this kind of mess is nearly a daily occurrence. We try to stay on top of it by requiring him to clean up every evening before bed. This works reasonably well, though it does require adult supervision to break it down to manageable steps (first, start by putting all the books back on the bookshelf; next put all the cars back in their bin, etc). Inevitably though life happens and we have a couple of late nights and let it slide, or he has a meltdown and refuses to clean up at which point I pack all of the toys on the floor in a big black trash bag and keep them for a week or two until I think he's gotten the point, then we put them all back where they belong and start the whole maddening cycle all over again.
We've tried other things besides threats and punishments. We've offered incentives, encouraged him to get rid of some things, and spent hours upon hours helping him sort and organize only to have our hard work undone when it all ends up together in a giant cornucopia in the center of his room two days later.
Until now...
A few weeks ago, at wit's end, I devised a plan. There was no drama involved either. Just a recognition from both sides that we couldn't go on as we had been. According to this plan, all toys were taken out of his room and put into clear plastic sets of drawers in my closet (which is enormous and just screaming for a purpose other than collecting clothes and shoes I certainly don't need).
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| All of Alex's toys neatly organized into drawers. |
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| Empty shelves = bliss! |
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| Yes, that is a flashing neon sign with the words Man Cave on his wall. |
Alex is allowed to play with his toys anytime as long as he gets adult permission, and all of the toys have to go back in their place before bed. This might sounds like micromanagement to some parents out there, and others will probably say I just haven't done a good job teaching my child how to clean up after himself. But to those parents I say "phooey"! While my house may not be spotless, it is orderly and both of my children are expected to clean up after themselves (after mealtimes, for example) and have daily chores. My older son, while not perfect either, has learned to keep the mess in his room to a manageable level and we rarely experience conflict on this front.
To my surprise, Alex welcomed the structure. He no longer has to feel overwhelmed by the task of cleaning up. He likes having wide open spaces to play and draw. I love getting to just love on my prince instead of succumbing to being a screaming witch over futile attempts to restore order.
So there you go. Mothering! I guess Other Things will have to wait til next time...
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