Post-Race Reflections

At the finish line of the Colorado Marathon

I am so proud of my friend, Renee, who overcame a calf tear and a good deal of self-doubt to complete her first half marathon! We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day and the race was well organized. We had to take a bus to the start and then had a little over an hour until race time, which could have been miserable if the weather was cold. As it was, we chatted about race strategy for a bit before warming up with a slow mile run and some stretching. I was there with the sole purpose of supporting my friend, pacing her to a finish. Her training had been truncated by an injury so her longest run (ever) was 10 miles and she was averaging around 9:30 pace during training runs. Our race strategy was as follows: run miles 1-4 at easy, relaxed pace, about 10 seconds slower than goal pace of 9:30; miles 4-10 pick it up to goal pace of 9:30, which we expected to be a nice cruising speed; if she was feeling good, we would pick up the pace to 9:20 or better during the last 3 miles, and if she was not feeling so good, we would just hang on to our cruising speed.

And that's exactly what we did. I was so impressed with Renee's perfect execution of our strategy! She didn't go out too fast and kept the pace easy during those first miles (I ran behind her to make sure I didn't influence her pace). I know she was anxious initially but was able to settle in and relax to hit her cruising pace of 9:30 for the middle miles. There was a decent hill between miles 10 and 11 so we decided it would be better mentally to plan to pick up the pace after the hill. At this point, I moved out front to help push the pace a bit and Renee hung on like a champ! She finished strong with the final mile of the race the fastest at 9:00 exactly. It really was textbook perfect. Our final time was a respectable 2:09:35, which placed Renee in the top 50% for her age division. Since her goal was simply to finish, she was thrilled with the outcome and I was happy to have been able to contribute to her achievement.

But....I would be lying if I said I didn't ache a little with the disappointment of not achieving my own goal. It stung a little to see my running buddy, Chris, finish in 1:33, knowing I kept pace with him during long runs and track workouts up to the last 6 weeks of training. I felt bitter that I let yet another opportunity pass to meet my goal, when mere weeks ago I was feeling stronger and faster than I ever have before. I feel certain that if I could have kept up with my training I would have met my goal (and possibly even my super secret goal finish time).

So....what did I learn and where do I go from here? I learned that I could let go of my ego and truly enjoy helping someone else meet their goal. I learned that I actually can execute a race strategy well (I rarely achieve negative splits in my own races). I learned that I have acquired knowledge and experience that can help others - I typically think I am the one who needs schooling - but this day I was able to see how far I have come from my beginner days, which really aren't that long ago....so I can both remember what it felt like to simply be worried about whether or not I could finish and have the insight to know that it was entirely within Renee's capability to meet her goal. I also learned that I am not done with this quest to achieve my goal and that if I don't figure out how to get there, I may never be able to rest.

I don't know exactly what comes next. The only thing on the horizon is a loose plan to pace a friend for 20 of her 100-miler in June. It will give me a chance to see up close what ultra running looks like (I'm not expecting pretty...but I'm hoping it will be inspirational...?) My goal at present is to get back to running 6 days/week and raise my base to 50 weekly miles. I'm also pretty sure I'll run a local trail half in September and full in October...for fun. I'll be focused on pushing past my mind telling me my limitations and looking for trails that lift my spirit. And maybe, hopefully, I'll discover that no matter what happens, I'm still a runner.