Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Running is my religion.

I wrote this post a few months ago, but never finished it. I'm in a little different place now and not sure it doesn't resonate quite as much as it did when I wrote it...but its still good so I thought I'd post it for the sake of not losing the thoughts. I'm sure I'll come back to this one again.

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This one took me awhile to work out. The thought just popped into my head one day last fall: "Running is my religion". I knew it was true for me, but I struggled to put it into words. I think I've finally got it down. In my head....now let's see if I can put that thought to "paper".

Thinking back to last fall when the thought first occurred, running was going so well! I'd spent the summer working hard on the track and in the gym, I'd started working with a new coach which expanded my running community, and I set several new PR's. I felt good and strong and committed. I had also been going through some hard times and running offered a reprieve - it helped me focus on the present, get out of my head and just be in my body.

Then disaster struck in the form of a femoral stress fracture, which required months of physical therapy, no running at all for 6 weeks, and a shift in focus from "training" to "healing". This experience challenged my patience, my ability to be kind to others (especially other non-injured runners), and my self-confidence (Was I really a runner if I wasn't running? Would I ever be able to get back to where I was?)

So....I did ALOT of thinking, and I read about 27,000 books about running and mindfulness, and suddenly it all came together! So, here goes:

Running gives me purpose, and a way to practice being my best self. It gives me a reason to take loving care of the body I've been given, to nourish it by eating healthy foods and to avoid (excessive) alcohol and sweets. Running offers me an opportunity to practice kindness and compassion for others who are struggling to maintain motivation to run or who have been sidelined by injury. It also has made me confront aspects of myself that I don't like, such as envy, pettiness, and comparing myself with others.

Running has also caused me to think about my priorities. With running at the helm, it is easier to let go of people and things (like cookies) that don't serve me. But it also highlights where my priorities are out of order, such as when my run plan becomes more important than time with my husband or not being available when my kids need me. Running gives me the chance to practice gratitude for my health, my environment, and my supportive husband.

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Since I'm still practicing letting go of perfect, I'm going to go ahead and post this even though it's not quite finished.

Ciao, for now.

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